My wild man was alive and in full force through my twenties, and as I approached my thirties he began slowly getting crushed, caged and shunned. Sometimes it came from others:
“You are too intense!”
“You are too unpredictable!”
“Your just really weird man!”
“You really upset me!”
“You need to be more like this…”
[Sometime it came] from my ego… afraid of failure and abandonment:
“You will be criticized, ridiculed, persecuted… hold back.”
“You could get hurt… don’t risk it!”
“You may fail like the last time… don’t do it!”
“What if it doesn’t work out? … don’t bother!”
[Sometimes it came] from my ego… afraid of being unlovable:
“I don’t my wife upset… just please her.”
“I don’t want my kids to not love me… just please them.”
“I don’t want my clients/ co-workers disappointed… just say “yes.”
[Sometimes it came] from ego… afraid of past hurts:
“You screwed up another relationship….”
“You lost a million dollar business…”
“You screwed up your credit…”
“You were abandoned by your family…”
“You are the one to blame for all the wrong here…”
By 39 my wild man, made less and less visits into my everyday life. I was totally blind, to how tired, he had become. He was tamed, caged, and wore out. This affected in a disharmonious way… my intimacy with my wife, respect from my kids, my relationship with my mother, really all of my relationships, my finances, my business results, my health, and my overall quality of life.
Recently, after coaching my son’s teenage soccer team, I realized, the kids could see right through me. They could see my wild man caged inside. They acted up, they disrespected boundaries, and it was a fight to gain peace and respect from them.
My son, said, “Dad, you didn’t hold a good space for our team, you need to get them to respect you!”
I was confused. I was embarrassed. What was I teaching my son?
Then, last weekend, I attended a Men’s retreat, called WILDMAN, and discovered, the powerful, unstoppable, raw, pure masculine energy, that I truly had deep inside. The WILDMAN was set free, this past weekend, and he has unleashed great strength, integrity, determination and real power, all fueled by love.
When I showed up for soccer practice yesterday, there was very little I had to say. The kids, could feel I was different. A look was a enough to keep them in line.
When you change, the world changes around you.
I would refer you to a book, if I could… but there is no book that can teach you how to unleash your Wildman… it’s going to take some direct experience with other true wildmen.
~ 2016 Wildman from Black Mountain, North Carolina